


This Is Gospel

by MagentaPixel



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26925931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagentaPixel/pseuds/MagentaPixel
Summary: Gordon thought he was done with Black Mesa, and most importantly, done with Benrey forever. Unfortunately for him, a certain security guard shows up to his house to let him know his days swinging crowbars are far from over.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. We Meet Again

It was a normal day in the life of pro-gamer Gordon Freeman. A tiring round of fortnite had left his wrists sore, something even a fresh glass of mountain dew couldn't fix. He pulled out a bag of doritos, louding crunching them as he scrolled through the Among Us shipping tag on archive of our own. His most recent twitch stream had earned him two dollars, more than he had ever earned before. 

As he thought about all the things he could do with two dollars, he heard someone knock on the door. Gordon zipped up his anime hoodie and fixed the heel on his crocs, then turned the knob. 

A tall, sexy twink stood in the doorway. He had long black hair, polished combat boots and a sparkling helmet. His bulletproof vest accentuated his abs. The twink wore an enamel pin of a bus that read "Down with Cishet," a button of Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, and a pocket with a brand new passport sticking out. His nametag read "Benrey."

"Hey bro you got playstation?" said Benrey.

"No," said Gordon crossly. 

"Are you sure?" replied Benrey. Benrey started vogueing in front of Gordon. 

"I'm not attracted to you," said Gordon, who was definitely attracted to this. 

"Are you sure that you're sure?" Benrey vogued. 

Gordon thought it over. 

"I'm gonna be honest man, not really." 

Benrey suggestively raised his eyebrows. 

"I'm homeless," Benrey waggled. 

"You can live here, I guess," sighed an exasperated Gordon. 

Benrey walked into the apartment and ogled Gordon's gamer setup. It was a pitch black computer with a black mouse and a black keyboard. There were rainbow lights all over the keyboard and the computer, and the back of the computer had really cool fire decals. There was a sticker on the monitor that had the heterosexual pride flag on it, also known as one of the stickers you find on an orange. (A.N. I fucking hate oranges) 

Benrey walked over to the computer, sitting down in the gaming chair and typing on the keyboard with his greasy fingers. He opened up Team Fortress 2 and won the game so much the game ended and the CEO of valve got a pancreas infection. 

"Woah, you're good at this," said Gordon, amazed by Benrey's epic gamer skills. 

"Thanks, it's my epic gamer skills," said Benrey. 

Gordon looked deep into Benrey's cerulean orbs. Mentally, he could hear Party Rockers In The House Tonight playing, the most beautiful love song he could imagine. 

Yes, he thought to himself, this was the feeling of yearning a million cringe-inducing posts about Hozier had taught him.  
"Bro it's kinda gay that you're gazing into my amber orbs," Benrey whispered. 

Gordon peeled off the heterosexual pride sticker off of his computer and put it on his pop vinyl Sans Undertale figurine instead. 

"Maybe it is," said Gordon, his face transforming into that cringy reddit emoji (A.N. looked it up why the fuck is it called a lenny face).

"Good thing I think emojis are hot," Benrey flirted. 

"Wait, you think emojis are cool?" said Gordon, who had been making heterosexual cursed emoji shipping animatics for the past three days. 

"Yeah," Benrey emojied. 

The two sat down on Gordon's couch that had the fabric you put on jeans. Gordon grabbed the remote and put on the emoji movie on Netflix. Benrey leaned against him gayly as they watched the emoji movie on the jouch. 

When the movie was over, Gordon grabbed a pen and paper and drew an emoji with an emo haircut on it. 

"This is my OC," Gordon explained. "His name is Kyle."

"Yo, epic." Benrey liked the emoji, it reminded him of his favorite store, Hot Topic. (A.N. yes, in my fic Black Mesa has a hot topic i do what i want!!!!!!!1!!)

"Kyle is actually an eldritch horror and he's rejected by everyone because he has special powers no one understands." Gordon continued. 

Benrey thought that sounded familiar. He remembered his intense childhood trauma of the first time he lost his passport at the airport. There was also the times he died repeatedly. Benrey's long black bangs fell in front of his face as he became sad. He felt like a plastic bag in that Katy Perry song except instead he was a hot topic shirt drifting in the wind.

"Are you okay?" Gordon asked cautiously.  
"Yeah..." Benrey trailed off. 

"You seem sad about your repressed childhood trauma like when you lost your passport." Gordon looked sadly at the security guard. 

"Bro, how did you know?" Benrey shed a single tear hotly. 

"Idk, bro." Gordon said. 

Gordon brushed Benrey's emo hair out of his eyes and noticed a tattoo that read "Damaged" on Benrey's forehead. We really do live in a society, Gordon thought. 

The two started making out for the next two hours. 

After they were done kissing (A.N. BUT NOTHING ELSE BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE WEIRD EWWWWW) Benrey looked at Gordon's amber spheres of seeing. 

"I don't want to be evil anymore," he said, smiling and revealing his sharp vampire teeth. 

Gordon smiled back and cried happy gamer tears. "Poggers, bro."

Suddenly, without warning, a soldier burst through Gordon's door. Gordon couldn't see who they were, because they were wearing a mask to stay safe from corona. 

"You two aren't social distancing," screeched the bootlicker. 

"Forzen it's okay, I don't have coronavirus, it's cool," Benrey reassured the soldier. 

"Who the fuckity fuck is Forzen?" said Not Forzen. 

"Uh....." Benrey trailed off. 

Suddenly, the soldier reached out of his pocket and pulled out a tiny knife after washing his hands to stay safe from germs. 

"I want to kill Gordon Freeman because he ruined my life!!!!" the soldier yelled. 

"No I won't let you," said Benrey. 

Gordon ran off due to Benrey's distraction and then Benrey tried to run too. The soldier grabbed onto Benrey's long luscious emo hair. 

"Not so fast," he grinned evilly. 

"I'm gonna kill you first so that Gordon surrenders!" he spoke also evilly. 

The soldier stabbed benny and then there was a bunch of blood and stuff. 

"Ow," he said, now aliven't. 

"Why the fuck did you do that?" Gordon yelled, tears streaming from his amber hued spherical organs that allowed him to visualize colors and objects. 

"You'll see, Freeman!" the soldier screamed. 

The soldier left the house and stepped on all the bugs in the yard. 

Suddenly, there was a burst of cerulean light as a man in a suit with a briefcase appeared. It was The Government Man!

"Unpoggers," exclaimed G-Man. 

"Please man, can't you do something?" Gordon begged. 

"Hmmm..." G-Man thoughts for a moment. 

"Yes, but you will have to go into the deepest darkest place to rescue his soul." G man explained solemnly. 

"I have to go find him in Hell? Black Mesa? Xen?" Gordon pressed G-Man for an answer. 

G-Man's three dimensional circular carbon based body parts in his head which permitted him to perceive visual data from photons glowed a bright aqua. 

"No," he smiled. "The Land of Tumblr."

With a snap of his fingers, Gordon was teleported into.... the mysterious land of Tumblr to save Benrey!


	2. Stuck at Home

Gordon woke up slowly, remembering the words the Government Man had said to him, and the fact that his emo boyfriend got stabbed.

“Oh god, where am I?” Gordon knew that G Man had sent him into Tumblr, but this empty hotel lobby wasn’t exactly what he expected.

Around him were people sitting in circles, gleefully talking about something called a “superwholock.” They seemed to be some kind of extraterrestrial, with gray skin and bright orange and yellow horns.

“Hey, who are you guys?” He asked.

The aliens began to surround him, hugging him tightly until he couldn’t breathe and then quickly letting him go.

“Uwu, you just got glomped~!” squeed one alien, with a name tag reading “Karkat.”

“I’m Nepeta,” shrieked another.

“Are you aliens?” Gordon asked.

“No,” said the strange children, “We’re Homestucks!”

“And who are you?” Nepeta asked Gordon.

“I’m Gordon Freeman,” he replied proudly.

“That’s not a homestuck name!” Cried Karkat.

Nepeta looked crossly at Karkat.

“He doesn’t have to be a homestuck to be here,” Nepeta quipped. “He could be any kind of fandom.”

Gordon was confused, looking around and noticing more teenagers in elaborate costumes.

“What’s a fandom?” He asked.

Karkat took Gordon by the hand and gestured to all of the cosplayers.

“It’s a place where anyone can be anyone, where fiction becomes your reality!”

“And the home of it all is here,” Nepeta explained. “Dashcon.”

“We’re the guardians of Dashcon! When it first happened, the government man froze it in time and made it a whole dimension, and gave us the job of protecting it!” Karkat enthusiastically revealed.

“This world was made,” he continued, “To preserve everything about the magical land of Tumblr! We’re just Earth cosplayers, but you’ll see that there are lots of people who originate from Tumblr, too.”

Gordon thought for a moment. Why would Benrey’s soul go to Dashcon? He wasn’t sure if he ever believed in an afterlife, but it certainly didn’t occur to him that Heaven and Hell would be Tumblr.

“I’m looking for someone named Benrey, do you know where he is?” Gordon asked.

Nepeta bit her lip.

“ _The_ Benrey?” Karkat exclaimed.

Nepeta looked worried. “You can find him, but…”

Gordon pressed her for answers. “But what?”

“Look,” Nepeta went on, “Benrey isn’t from your world, you know that. He’s incredibly important here on Tumblr. We don’t quite know why, but he is. Wherever Benrey is, it’s somewhere deep within the site.”

“Do you have any clue where?” Gordon asked.

Nepeta shook her head, and Karkat thought for a moment. Suddenly, Karkat’s visual orbs of visuality lit up because he had an idea.

“I know someone who has a map of Tumblr,” said Karkat, happily. “But if you want to find him, you’ll have to go to the ball pit.”

What on Earth was the ball pit? Thought Gordon.

“We’ll take you there,” Nepeta nodded. Karkat and Nepeta led Gordon down various hallways. Someone slapped Gordon with a paddle labeled “yaoi” as they made their way across Artist’s Alley. Finally, they reached a mostly empty auditorium with a small kiddie pool in the middle. The kiddie pool was filled with hundreds of plastic balls, and Gordon could smell something foul even from far away.

“Somebody pissed in the ballpit!” yelled a forty year old man dressed up like Light Yagami.

Another man, this one in his thirties, held a giant hat and called for people to throw in cash. “We need seventeen thousand dollars in here!” He screeched as people guiltily tossed in their hard earned money.

Nepeta looked worriedly at Gordon. “I don’t think we can help you any further,” she sighed. “The ball pit should lead you to the next realm of Tumblr.”

“Good luck,” said Karkat.

“Thanks,” replied Gordon Freeman, dabbing as a sign of respect.

Holding his nose, he dashed (A.N. haha GET IT????????????) to the ball pit and jumped straight in.


End file.
